Am I Drinking More Than I Want To?

One of the things I often hear is:

"I've noticed I'm drinking more than I want to, and I'm starting to recognise it's becoming a behaviour."

If you've found yourself asking this question, you're definitely not alone.

Drinking more than you'd like doesn't automatically mean you're addicted to alcohol. It might simply be your mind and body trying to cope with something difficult. Rather than asking whether you're "an alcoholic", it can be more helpful to become curious about what's changed.

Have you noticed your routine around drinking has changed?

Have you gone from only drinking socially to drinking alone?

Are you drinking more often or drinking larger amounts than you used to?

Has alcohol become something you rely on to get through the day or unwind in the evening?

These are gentle questions to help you reflect, not to judge yourself.

What is alcohol doing for you?

I'm often curious about the role alcohol is playing in someone's life.

Is it helping you switch off your thoughts?

Is it quietening anxiety?

Is it helping you manage difficult memories or trauma?

Does it make social situations feel easier?

Does it help with feelings of loneliness?

Sometimes alcohol begins as something we enjoy socially or use to celebrate. Over time, it can gradually become something we depend on to cope.

Not because we're weak, but because it has become the only thing that seems to help us relax, switch off or feel okay for a little while.

When shame starts to appear

Many people tell me that they no longer enjoy drinking in the same way.

Instead, they feel they're drinking to avoid difficult thoughts or emotions.

This is often where shame begins to appear.

Shame can make us believe we're failing or that we should just have more willpower.

I don't see it that way.

I see someone whose coping strategy may no longer be working in the way it once did.

Alcohol and the nervous system

Alcohol can temporarily reduce anxiety and help quieten the constant state of alert that many people experience.

However, alcohol is a depressant.

Although it may help you fall asleep, it can interrupt the way your mind and body naturally process emotions and recover from stress.

Over time, many people notice their anxiety becomes worse, not better.

If trauma is part of your story, alcohol may also become a way of avoiding emotions that feel too overwhelming to face.

How counselling can help

If you came to counselling with me, I'm not here to judge your drinking or tell you that you have to stop.

Whether you're drinking every day or you're simply beginning to question your relationship with alcohol, you are welcome.

Together, we'll explore what alcohol has been doing for you, what needs it has been meeting, and what might be happening underneath the drinking.

Our sessions around addiction tend to be a little more structured and directive than some of my other work. My focus is on helping you build safety and stability while also making space to understand the emotions that may have been hidden beneath alcohol.

You don't have to be at the point where you're ready to stop drinking.

If you're simply curious about why you're drinking in the first place, that's enough.

We'll explore it together, without judgement and at a pace that feels right for you.